I have always had an up and down opinion of myself, and I think that for most women that’s normal. But its amazing what a hit your self-esteem can take when you aren’t chosen for a job you want. I am qualified, educated and capable. Yet, I lack experience compared to others. And I can’t get experience because no one will hire you without it. So here I am, floundering in a pool of self-pity because I’ve been offered a lesser position than the one I interviewed for. I should be thankful that I was offered a job, I know but right now I’m bummed. Then of course, Gabe comes home and starts right in on me. Hammering me with questions that I don’t have answers to, and that just makes me feel worse. What is it about men that makes them so oblivious to these kinds of feelings? Why can’t he just be understanding and sympathetic- he has certainly been turned down for jobs that he wanted so he knows what I’m feeling.
For the last six weeks I have been eating right and working out so that I can have the body that I want. And its getting there, but this just makes me want to curl up with a bunch of junk food and my Netflix queue. I’m still waiting to hear from the other place, I called earlier and left a message..but just like before, the fact that its taking them so long to get back to me just makes me feel worse.
I’m 27 and tired of feeling like I’ve missed the boat on some things, and that I don’t measure up.